Friday, September 30, 2011

Getting married tomorrow!

Long time no see! I am announcing that at 4pm tomorrow bug and I will finally be wed! This long, busy period will finally wind down and I can get back to posting regular updates and thoughts. We've made so much progress involving D/s. I will explain more in a week when we return from our honeymoon.

Thanks to my readers and commenters, activity will pick up shortly!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Fetlife!

Hello readers! Bug and I were doing some searching around for a social network that we could share with others who share the 24/7 lifestyle or something similar and we stumbled upon fetlife and I just wanted to let everyone know that if any of you are on the website you are more than welcome to add both of us. Though I do ask if you wish to add Bug please just send me a quick message first so that I know. My nickname on the site as of now is 'Revias' and hers is 'Hisbug' So come say hello, we would love to hear from you!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Insert "Flight of the Bumblebee" here

Sorry for the lack of postings, guys! I have been insanely busy the past two weeks (and probably the next two!) It should be coming to an end as I finish off moving bug and I's stuff into our new house this weekend, and finally our wedding on Oct 1st! I've never been so excited, honestly. It's so much work preparing but it is going to pay off!

Before this week (Hell Week as I call it) started bug and I were continuing training. She is doing very well and has been making me proud in so many ways. I'll have a more in depth discussion about some new kinks I learned about her, and what kind of training I have been doing at a later date. As for now, work calls!

A big thanks to all my commenters and lurkers! Nice to know someone is reading!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Growing

I am finding that as time goes on the D/s lifestyle is becoming easier and less foreign in bug and I's life. I feel like it is becoming familiar and accepted, as opposed to a template I am trying to adapt to an already set standard. Every week I gain new experience both in the D/s world and in life. This transition is just as busy as I thought it would be, between a new job, filling a house, planning a wedding, and training a sub...soon to add being a father to that list. But just like I tell bug, you can't grow without pushing your limits. Without some sort of plan to find limits, and push them, making progress in anything (but especially D/s) is difficult if not impossible. It is my job to guide us and make us grow and so I have began planting the seeds, making things happen as a Dom should.

I had bug begin her training again. She has recovered nicely from our scare last week and has been in an excellent mood all week (by excellent I mean horny, of course). Our ultimate goal was to train her to be able to squirt (female ejaculation). After quite a bit of research I found that most women can if they practice and train (whereas some lack the anatomy for whatever reason). So I set out with a plan, have her practice "releasing" and strengthening her PC muscle.

As I figure out more about myself I find that humiliation is highly erotic to me. So I gave bug a task, one that I most certainly would have never asked her had we never have been in a D/s relationship. I asked her to kneel down and piss herself in front of me. I said if you can release yourself there, you will have an easier time when you practice female ejaculation. So I made the necessary preparations and she did, moaning as she did. I was surprised that A.) she did it with less hesitation than I thought, and B.) that she found it erotic enough to moan, of her own accord mind you. After that I proceeded to train her ass with her butt plug training kit, making it all the way to medium without flinching. Our sex afterwards was electric! She begged for cum like a champ (And for a reason that will be in my next post). Afterwards I began fingering her, stroking her G-spot as I had learned. It became more and more intense until, much to my surprise, she squirted! It wasn't a huge gushing stream, but enough to push past my hand and wet a lot of my bed. It was clear, and slightly slick, not darker and watery like pee. She had actually managed to ejaculate.

Along with these physical things she is growing into a fine sub, just as I am becoming more confident and comfortable in my Dominance. I feel like this is a turning point in our D/s relationship, not because of the physical aspects but because the emotional side mirrors the physical changes. She is more affectionate, feminine, and willing to please than I have ever seen. I am very proud of my bug!

My question for my readers is this: Do you remember the point where D/s began to feel more natural and less foreign? What was it that made your role finally sink in (Dom or sub)? What are some of your limits that you or your partner has pushed with good results?

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Good News and Bad News

Good evening! Well bug and I had quite the adventure last night. Shortly past midnight she began to experience severe vaginal bleeding! We both freaked out thinking she was miscarrying and I took her and her mother to the E.R. We got in quickly, thankfully. The doctor checked her cervix and found that it wasn't dilated so her body was not going into labor to abort the baby. But they took her back for an ultrasound. I sat and waited for her of the most agonizing hour of my life. I sat alone, fearing the worst. It was a very emotional for me. Then finally she came out. They saw the baby and it was doing just fine. It was jumping around and its heartbeat was normal. It turns out she has a blood clot in her uterus that is working itself out. Its not dangerous to the baby so we are extremely relieved.

On the bright side we learned the sex of the baby! I am pleased to announce that bug and I will be having a son! A little boy! I am thoroughly excited about that! I get to do all the fun daddy activities with him I planned. We are struggling to find a suitable name for him, for I am really picky about boy names.

However, bug is barred from sex for 2 weeks once the bleeding does stop (figures a week after I recover, huh?). So this puts quite a damper on our BDSM activities. Maybe I'll make her be creative about pleasing me, once she is recovered of course :P I am going t continue posting, but less about our experiences and more about Dom/sub philosophy and styles. I am really encouraged to see new followers and I am glad someone finds what I have to say useful! Thanks alot!

Monday, August 29, 2011

From bug and I!

Today I gave bug a writing assignment, as I do every weekday. I asked her to write what submission meant to her. What does she get from it? How did it make her feel? And what she was thankful for in our D/s relationship. I thought since I usually do most of the talking I would share some of her thoughts, along with my own. Here is her response:

"What does submission mean to me? Ultimately just feeling close, controlled and admired and that is a wonderful thing.

What am I thankful for in the D/s relationship?

"I will first start about just the relationship I have with my dominant in general, and how I am so thankful that I was able to find someone who I can relate with on such a deep level, that is kind, caring, romantic and most of all faithful to me. I cannot stress how much of a relief that is to be with someone who only has eyes for you after having been cheated on by others in the past. I am thankful that I am given the opportunity to please someone so greatly and see the affects that is has on him, because I love to see him smile and be happy. I am thankful to have direction and control on my life, as I had a hard time bringing those aspects to my life by myself. I am thankful to have such an intimate relationship on all levels, even if I can't always say why. I am just thankful to be loved and to love such a handsome, wonderful person."


It really meant alot to me, hearing how she felt and everything, so I decided to answer my own assignment as well. My post for today will be about the same thing:

I am thankful for her gift of submission. I feel like since we have adapted this lifestyle we have fought less, she is far happier, far more confident, and has alot more self esteem. Granted, she still has a long way to go from the self conscious, nervous wreck she used to be ;) I have seen a change in her for the better, and thats what means most to me. The constant sex, and control is excellent, but watching her grow into my perfect wife and women means more than I think even she knows. Being Dominant to me isnt about whips and chains and punishments 24-7, its a reverence for each other, a mutual respect and drive to make each other happy. As a submissive she gives me anything I ask of her along with her trust, and in return I take care of her every need. It works for us. We balance each other, know each other, and could not bear being parted. I feel like we are growing into the people we set out to be when we adopted this lifestyle. We still have a long way to go but I am honored to guide her down that path.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Domination Tactics?

Hello, readers! I'm back in action and fully recovered! I have alot of good news! My job is going well and I fit in great. Bug has been doing absolutely excellent in her submissive training the past 2 weeks. Our wedding is just about 85% planned and set in stone, and the house is coming along nicely. I cannot believe it is only a month away. I am so excited to get into my own place, and be my own person. It is demoralizing living at home and being still looked at like a "child." But I hear parents never really see their children as anything but just that, children!

Anyway, I have been doing alot of research and planning when it comes to my role in bug and I's D/s relationship. This lifestyle tends to be fairly one-sided when it comes to the concept of "training." Dom's need training too! Especially being so inexperienced and young, as in my case. We just have to teach ourselves, a skill that I luckily posess, and as well as have the discipline to see it through. Over the past month I have started taking a look at what -can- I do to enforce my rules? To make her feel controled? To guide her? Literally, "WHAT CAN I DO?"

And so I devised a list of daily activities, both sexual and nonsexual that I have gathered from several different sites that would reinforce the concept of ownership and control. I have been really light on bug when it comes to spankings and reprimanding her attitude, mostly because I never know if it is her talking, or the pregnancy hormones. And they make her literally a different person at times. Once we move in together I plan on stepping up her training, and expect her to step up her efforts because she will be more comfortable in "our" house than in "hers" or "mine" currently. Privacy is always an issue these days.

However, my question for all my lurkers and followers (Dom and sub alike) is this: What makes you feel most in control/controlled? What are some everyday things you do to keep the "feeling" going? Sexually? Non sexually? I'd love to hear from you!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

What a life....

Well it's certainly been a while. So I'll bring you up to speed on bug and I's life. We have officially gotten the approval to start working on our house, which is awesome! I was hospitalized TWICE for kidney stones, and I started my new job. I cannot say enough how proud I am of my little bug! She held her own like a champ when I was unable to be there for her, and she even brought me things in the hospital that I needed without asking. I went into the E.R. at about 11pm on Monday. The pain had gotten so bad (again) that I was at wit's end and just wanted the damn thing removed. So after being jerked around for 3 hours I saw a doctor and she recommended that I be admitted and see the urologist in the morning. So at a wonderful 5 a.m. I got into a room and bug went home. They wouldn't let her stay with me, which was frustrating because I worried about her driving while being so utterly exhausted. Long story short, I got he stone surgically removed and am now in recovery. I feel loads better, but am barred from having sex because of the splint put inside me to heal up the passage, if you catch my drift. Grrr...they say I can take it out Friday, and here's to hoping!

But I learned this week that I can count on bug when I need to in emergencies. We'd never experienced anything like this, and its great to know she can hold her own without me. Before the hospitalization she was doing very well too. She is being respectful and submissive in attitude, we had a nice talk about punishment and what to do when things go awry, and she earned an achievement all on her own. I look forward to our continued growth in the D/s relationship and all the exciting things we have going on. So despite this unfortunate health road block, I feel pretty good!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Sex Training update!

I am going to provide a detailed and slightly erotic recount of bug's training last night! And while it is not too BDSM heavy, it was a huge step up from prior weeks.

First I sent her to my room where I had her strip off her shirt, bra, and panties. She stood nude before me as I inspected her, grabbing her large soft breasts and reaching between her legs. She has been growing her hair out just a bit, as I asked her to do and a small tuft now resides over her entrance, a huge turn on for me. We kissed briefly and I grabbed my bag of "supplies" and a blindfold. After tightly tying the blindfold around her head I layed her down. Her breasts are normally huge (42 D's) but being pregnant has its perks and now they are noticably larger. I teased her nipples with my tongue, kissing and sucking them softly until they grew hard, which didnt take long. Her soft moans were music to my ears. After several minutes of licking and teasing her nipples I slid my hand down between her legs. I parted her soft lips with my first two fingers, feeling that she was already quite wet. I slid my middle finger inside of her, moving it around slowly. I curled it upward, just enough to taunt her g-spot. She is hopelessly vulnerable to g-spot stimulation. I quickened my pace as her breathing got quieter, a sign she was about to cum. I pushed her ever closer to the edge, but before she could release I denied her, pulling my fingers out slowly. I decided to torment her even more, leaning in to kiss her soft, pouting lips, and gently suck on her swollen clit. She was moaning openly now, and bucing her hips against my tongue. Finally I had to stop her from nearly cumming a second time. She was ready now. I opened my bag of sex toys and told her to get into a comfy position with her ass facing me.

I assurred her of what I was going to do, and told her to focus on making the sensation enjoyable to her. I first lubed up her anal beads. One by one I pressed them into her extremely tight ass, giving her time to adjust. She took them all very well, even the larger 1.5in diameter balls at the end of the strand. I carressed her from behind as I let them sit in her to get accustomed. After a few minutes of kissing the back of her neck and shoulders I pulled them out slowly, one by one. But I wasn't finished. I grabbed the small butt plug, the first in the set I am training her with, and lubed it up. Again, I reassurred her and told her to focus on making this weird new sensation pleasurable. I reached down and rubbed her clit softly as I probed her ass with the tip of the small plug. I repeated it over and over agin, gently easing its length into her innocent (for now) looking ass. After a few minutes of teasing I inserted the entire length inside and made her hold it in, as I continued kissing her neck and teasing her clit. All the while her pussy stayed nice and wet, I knew she enjoyed it! Finally she began to say her ass was getting sore, and I agreed that she had done well for the day. I pulled the plug out and had her lay on her back. I was rock hard after watching her take the toys, and moan so much during my teasing. I grabbed both of her legs, kinda like a wheelbarrel and started fucking her, slowly at first. I angled up, hitting her cervix with each thrust. I kept a steady pace, relishing the sensation of fucking her (and her wanting to be fucked). She moaned harder as I picked up the pace. My balls slapped against her ass quickly as I pounded away. Then, much to my surprise she began to moan like never before. She let out a little scream as we came at the exact same time, something we had never managed before! We were both shocked, and very happy. I felt proud, always coming close to pushing her over but never actually doing it. It was a big step for us both.

Anyway, thats all the smut for now :) I am looking forward to more D/s related sex as we get back in the swing of things, but she certainly did an excellent job yesterday, and especially today with some very serious, and non-sex related issues. But that'll be tomorrow's post.

Friday, August 5, 2011

More good news!

This week has been an excellent counter to the stresses I have been feeling the past few weeks. I was officially offered the full time job I applied for, and I officially got approved to rent my very first house! Bug and I are ecstatic! And the price is super low, which is good because hard times lie ahead. It has plenty of land (which we have to take care of as per the agreement) and a weeping willow tree, bug's favorite. It needs some work and cleaning, its been abandoned for 5 years since my grandfather passed away. It's kinda funny, as a horny teenager I stole a key to it from my father and bug and I would sneak in there in the summers and have sex. Lots of sex. We were desperate! And I shared a room at the time so privacy was limited. We had a good chuckle about that last night. But, moving along...

Another positive thing is bug's showing a little more interest in sex. This may not seem like a terribly important thing but seeing as though her sex drive did not exist for the past 2-3 weeks I am thrilled! I look forward to -really- feeling in control again. I have missed the "bedroom Dom" side of myself the past few weeks. Because there is a definate difference between being a Dom in day to day life, and in the bedroom. But maybe that's a good topic for another post.

I plan on treating bug to a dinner out in celebration of our good news and then a relaxing fun evening in. Hopefully details to come!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Buglet lives!

It has been a while! Its been crazy busy for me the past few weeks, hence not having much time to write. Life continues to take me on a wild ride with crazy ups and crazy downs. But through it all Bug and I manage. Updates? I have a full time job lined up at my father's company. I am hoping to rise through the ranks, as most of their staff have. I have confidence in my abilities, and I am excited to learn what I can about the business. D/s-wise Bug and I have been struggling with the transitional period. Things are pretty low-key right now as we organize our life and prepare for everything. Once we finally move in together, and the first trimester sexual deathblow wears off we will ressume. Non-sexually we still acknowledge each others roles, but sexual training and so forth is somewhat on hold. She is doing well with her domestic tasks and is growing into her role nicely :) Today I got to see our son/daughter for the first time! We have affectionately nicknamed her "Buglet." We went in today for Bug's 10 week check up and ultrasound. Its heartbeat and everything looked normal. It was absolutely hilarious, he/she was flopping around and waggling its little arms for us. Very much alive! It really hit a deep nerve inside of me seeing Buglet moving around and heart beating, a very touching moment.

Thats all for today! A big thanks to all of those who commentand offer encouragement and advice, it is always welcomed.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Doubt

I have been bombarded recently with a flood of different emotions from my sub. She is nearing the middle of her first trimester and her pregnancy hormones have her saying and thinking things I have not heard out of her in years. She doubts her looks, abilities, intelligence, and just about everything else. And of course, she is wrong about all of these things. She has deep-rooted self esteem issues that I have struggled (epically, mind you) to subdue, since long before we began our D/s journey. Consistently I prove to her I am not the same as the others she has known, even her family which has more than occasionally let her down. I try to lead by example and prove to her that she IS worth more than she thinks she is, and that she is far more amazing than she gives herself credit for.

And yet sometimes even I find myself in doubt. Do I doubt her? No. Do I doubt myself? You betcha! (As Sarah Palin would say...ugh -shivers-) I think fear and doubt are natural, and even useful parts of the human psyche. However, it is how these thoughts are used and managed that determines their use. Will I allow these fears to overcome me and change my behavior? No! If I fear anything I try my hardest to use it to prevent itself. Confused? I'll explain. If I am afraid of my sub getting bored in our relationship, I try harder to find activities for us. If I fear that she won't find -me- attractive, I will obsess until I feel I am acceptable. Instead of burying the fear deep inside of me until it becomes a festering insecurity I acknowledge it, face it, and do something to change it. I take action. I am quickly learning that things do not change, in anything, without action. I am responsible for our life. The captain of our metaphorical ship! And even though I may fear steering us into an ice burg, I will try my hardest to learn the right paths through life, and take the necessary actions to stay on those paths.

Alright. Enough philosophical babble for me. I hope to return to smutty posts soon, but the First Trimester is like a deathblow to her health and sex drive. And while I still take what I need, I find that training her sexually would not only be cruel in that state, but unenjoyable for me. Have you ever fucked a half-asleep, gassy, angsty/sad/fearful pregnant woman in the heat of Summer? I am holding out for this fabled "Second Trimester" which is from what I hear, the Land of Milk and Honey. No puns intended!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Transitions

Life has a way of keeping me on my toes, it seems. After a careful few days of planing for what I thought was going to be a fun (and kinky sex) filled weekend, I found myself face to face with reality. Bug had gotten a cold this weekend, and was unusually tired and sick from the pregnancy. The empty house I thought we were going to share was dreadfully occupied by my brother for most of the time, a fact alone that brought any hopes of "training" to a crashing halt. I am finding it really difficult to enforce my control when surrounded by family who have no idea we have this type of relationship, and furthermore who would condemn it if they did. One of the many downsides of living with the parents still. We only have 2 months until the wedding and subsequent move, however, so that won't be for long.

That being said, I do also know that I have to make the best of the situation. Was the weekend perfect? No. Was it fun? Mostly. Did I spend quality time with my sub and care for her lovingly in her time of need, as a Dom should? Yes. I have learned this lesson many times in life, and I feel like if I were but 2 years younger, this weekend would have bothered me. But since engaging in the D/s relationship with Bug I find myself looking at things from a diferent perspective. Life is going to screw up my plans. It always has, it always will. I just accept that now.

I am a huge fan of Lord of the Rings, and in the Fellowship Gandalf makes an excellent point in this quote: "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." I really thought about the events this weekend, and I realize that I may be able to control her in what ways I can but I cannot control everything else. All I can do is deal with what life gives me. To me, this flexability and understanding is just as key to being dominant as a firm hand and unyeilding resolve. At any rate, things -are- looking up around here. Just have to buckle down and keep moving!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Busy weekend!

Sorry for the lack of activity! The weekend was buys, and not in a good way. I'll post a nice long post tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The trouble with love

I have been doing a lot of research on different domination tactics and thought processes. And in all of them a consistency is required when enforcing your rules on your sub. Am I the only one who finds this a bit difficult? Now, before you grab the torch and pitch-fork and call me weak hear me out! I am in love with this girl. She was my whole world before we ever picked up a rope and butt-plug. However, now I must be firm with her, tell her no, even hit her should it be required! Sometimes my rules make her unhappy, or uncomfortable. And sometimes the metaphorical angel on my shoulder (who is far more compassionate than I!) makes me feel bad for enforcing it. I look into those big green eyes and fall victim to the pouty face. However, I cannot be too lenient with her either, out of risk of being too soft and not in control enough. I know I must be harder on her, if she is to -truely- change, but I find it difficult at times. I know this will change over time, but at this stage in my own growth and training that is probably the biggest struggle I have: Being too compassionate vs. not being compassionate enough. I am working on adopting the mindset of disciplining her because I love her, and washing away societies brainwash that states we have to be equal, and that I have no right to discipline her.

I'd love to hear some feedback from other Dom's and any of my few lurkers out there!

Training: B+

My package came in the mail today! It took them until nearly 5 in the afternoon, but that's another matter... Anyway! I received an anal training kit (3 plugs, Small, medium, and LARGE) and a dildo to use on my Sub. I tested them out on her last night. I must say, they are alot of fun. I am working on training her to be able to take my cock in any of her entrances whenever I please. Seeing as though it is currently too thick for her ass, I must train it. She is doing alot better with not flinching and whimpering, but she still finds it to feel "weird." I am thinking that after she adjusts it will become easier for her to enjoy it.

We had tried anal back when we were still pretty vanilla, and she loved it for about a week. Then one day it made a bit of a mess and kinda traumatized her. So every time now I insist on being clean and methodical with it.

Oh! She earned her very first achievement! She sucked my cock while her ass and pussy were filled! I was so proud LMAO! All in all I give her a B+ for last night. Ok, thats a smutty enough of a blog for today! Maybe tomorrow I'll discuss Dom philosophy or something worthwhile!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Her training is coming along well!

A short post for today! But I wanted to share how well Bug has been doing with her training. After a little coaching she can give an amazing, and diverse blowjob, and enthusiastically too! Her anal training has progressed nicely. She can now take all 10 of her anal beads without flinching, and has finally given up worrying about "what if it gets dirty....?" We are expecting a package in the mail today with the rest of her training supplies -evil grin- I am going to have some fun with those! An Anal Training kit! 3 plugs and a dildo to get her used to it. Soon I will be taking her ass as freely as I do her pussy :D

Also, I think paying her bills yesterday helped reaffirm my commitment to this lifestyle. She seemed less stressed and happier: my number 1 goal!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Week of July 4th!

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Intro

Hello everyone (or anyone)! As you can probably tell from the other parts of this blog I am a Dom living with his wife and full time submissive in a BDSM lifestyle. We have only recently started training ourselves in this new lifestyle but we are already seeing the awesome, and difficult benefits of it! In an effort to train my Sub I had her begin a daily journal of her experiences and such. So I got to thinking…why shouldn’t I do the same? I did say that I wouldn’t ask anything of her that I wouldn’t do myself, right? So one night I sat down and recapped my feelings about the past week. It was an eventful week (when aren’t they, though) so I had A LOT to write about. But you’ll see that later! Anyway I allowed her to read it (this time ;) ) and she was impressed. She said I would make a good blogger on the subject. Whether or not THAT is true isn’t up to me, though. I use the blog as an outlet for my feelings, thoughts, plans, and methods. It is really hard to manage all of my thoughts if it isn’t physically in front of me! I am hoping that maybe someone will learn from my experiences, as I have learned from others. I am not so arrogant as to say I have all the answers, or even MOST of the answers. I am still learning. I hope to ALWAYS be learning. I like feedback from Doms and Subs alike! Even if you are just looking into things for the first time, I understand!