From bug and I!

Today I gave bug a writing assignment, as I do every weekday. I asked her to write what submission meant to her. What does she get from it? How did it make her feel? And what she was thankful for in our D/s relationship. I thought since I usually do most of the talking I would share some of her thoughts, along with my own. Here is her response:

"What does submission mean to me? Ultimately just feeling close, controlled and admired and that is a wonderful thing.

What am I thankful for in the D/s relationship?

"I will first start about just the relationship I have with my dominant in general, and how I am so thankful that I was able to find someone who I can relate with on such a deep level, that is kind, caring, romantic and most of all faithful to me. I cannot stress how much of a relief that is to be with someone who only has eyes for you after having been cheated on by others in the past. I am thankful that I am given the opportunity to please someone so greatly and see the affects that is has on him, because I love to see him smile and be happy. I am thankful to have direction and control on my life, as I had a hard time bringing those aspects to my life by myself. I am thankful to have such an intimate relationship on all levels, even if I can't always say why. I am just thankful to be loved and to love such a handsome, wonderful person."


It really meant alot to me, hearing how she felt and everything, so I decided to answer my own assignment as well. My post for today will be about the same thing:

I am thankful for her gift of submission. I feel like since we have adapted this lifestyle we have fought less, she is far happier, far more confident, and has alot more self esteem. Granted, she still has a long way to go from the self conscious, nervous wreck she used to be ;) I have seen a change in her for the better, and thats what means most to me. The constant sex, and control is excellent, but watching her grow into my perfect wife and women means more than I think even she knows. Being Dominant to me isnt about whips and chains and punishments 24-7, its a reverence for each other, a mutual respect and drive to make each other happy. As a submissive she gives me anything I ask of her along with her trust, and in return I take care of her every need. It works for us. We balance each other, know each other, and could not bear being parted. I feel like we are growing into the people we set out to be when we adopted this lifestyle. We still have a long way to go but I am honored to guide her down that path.

The trouble with love

I have been doing a lot of research on different domination tactics and thought processes. And in all of them a consistency is required when enforcing your rules on your sub. Am I the only one who finds this a bit difficult? Now, before you grab the torch and pitch-fork and call me weak hear me out! I am in love with this girl. She was my whole world before we ever picked up a rope and butt-plug. However, now I must be firm with her, tell her no, even hit her should it be required! Sometimes my rules make her unhappy, or uncomfortable. And sometimes the metaphorical angel on my shoulder (who is far more compassionate than I!) makes me feel bad for enforcing it. I look into those big green eyes and fall victim to the pouty face. However, I cannot be too lenient with her either, out of risk of being too soft and not in control enough. I know I must be harder on her, if she is to -truely- change, but I find it difficult at times. I know this will change over time, but at this stage in my own growth and training that is probably the biggest struggle I have: Being too compassionate vs. not being compassionate enough. I am working on adopting the mindset of disciplining her because I love her, and washing away societies brainwash that states we have to be equal, and that I have no right to discipline her.

I'd love to hear some feedback from other Dom's and any of my few lurkers out there!