Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Good News and Bad News

Good evening! Well bug and I had quite the adventure last night. Shortly past midnight she began to experience severe vaginal bleeding! We both freaked out thinking she was miscarrying and I took her and her mother to the E.R. We got in quickly, thankfully. The doctor checked her cervix and found that it wasn't dilated so her body was not going into labor to abort the baby. But they took her back for an ultrasound. I sat and waited for her of the most agonizing hour of my life. I sat alone, fearing the worst. It was a very emotional for me. Then finally she came out. They saw the baby and it was doing just fine. It was jumping around and its heartbeat was normal. It turns out she has a blood clot in her uterus that is working itself out. Its not dangerous to the baby so we are extremely relieved.

On the bright side we learned the sex of the baby! I am pleased to announce that bug and I will be having a son! A little boy! I am thoroughly excited about that! I get to do all the fun daddy activities with him I planned. We are struggling to find a suitable name for him, for I am really picky about boy names.

However, bug is barred from sex for 2 weeks once the bleeding does stop (figures a week after I recover, huh?). So this puts quite a damper on our BDSM activities. Maybe I'll make her be creative about pleasing me, once she is recovered of course :P I am going t continue posting, but less about our experiences and more about Dom/sub philosophy and styles. I am really encouraged to see new followers and I am glad someone finds what I have to say useful! Thanks alot!

Monday, August 29, 2011

From bug and I!

Today I gave bug a writing assignment, as I do every weekday. I asked her to write what submission meant to her. What does she get from it? How did it make her feel? And what she was thankful for in our D/s relationship. I thought since I usually do most of the talking I would share some of her thoughts, along with my own. Here is her response:

"What does submission mean to me? Ultimately just feeling close, controlled and admired and that is a wonderful thing.

What am I thankful for in the D/s relationship?

"I will first start about just the relationship I have with my dominant in general, and how I am so thankful that I was able to find someone who I can relate with on such a deep level, that is kind, caring, romantic and most of all faithful to me. I cannot stress how much of a relief that is to be with someone who only has eyes for you after having been cheated on by others in the past. I am thankful that I am given the opportunity to please someone so greatly and see the affects that is has on him, because I love to see him smile and be happy. I am thankful to have direction and control on my life, as I had a hard time bringing those aspects to my life by myself. I am thankful to have such an intimate relationship on all levels, even if I can't always say why. I am just thankful to be loved and to love such a handsome, wonderful person."

It really meant alot to me, hearing how she felt and everything, so I decided to answer my own assignment as well. My post for today will be about the same thing:

I am thankful for her gift of submission. I feel like since we have adapted this lifestyle we have fought less, she is far happier, far more confident, and has alot more self esteem. Granted, she still has a long way to go from the self conscious, nervous wreck she used to be ;) I have seen a change in her for the better, and thats what means most to me. The constant sex, and control is excellent, but watching her grow into my perfect wife and women means more than I think even she knows. Being Dominant to me isnt about whips and chains and punishments 24-7, its a reverence for each other, a mutual respect and drive to make each other happy. As a submissive she gives me anything I ask of her along with her trust, and in return I take care of her every need. It works for us. We balance each other, know each other, and could not bear being parted. I feel like we are growing into the people we set out to be when we adopted this lifestyle. We still have a long way to go but I am honored to guide her down that path.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Domination Tactics?

Hello, readers! I'm back in action and fully recovered! I have alot of good news! My job is going well and I fit in great. Bug has been doing absolutely excellent in her submissive training the past 2 weeks. Our wedding is just about 85% planned and set in stone, and the house is coming along nicely. I cannot believe it is only a month away. I am so excited to get into my own place, and be my own person. It is demoralizing living at home and being still looked at like a "child." But I hear parents never really see their children as anything but just that, children!

Anyway, I have been doing alot of research and planning when it comes to my role in bug and I's D/s relationship. This lifestyle tends to be fairly one-sided when it comes to the concept of "training." Dom's need training too! Especially being so inexperienced and young, as in my case. We just have to teach ourselves, a skill that I luckily posess, and as well as have the discipline to see it through. Over the past month I have started taking a look at what -can- I do to enforce my rules? To make her feel controled? To guide her? Literally, "WHAT CAN I DO?"

And so I devised a list of daily activities, both sexual and nonsexual that I have gathered from several different sites that would reinforce the concept of ownership and control. I have been really light on bug when it comes to spankings and reprimanding her attitude, mostly because I never know if it is her talking, or the pregnancy hormones. And they make her literally a different person at times. Once we move in together I plan on stepping up her training, and expect her to step up her efforts because she will be more comfortable in "our" house than in "hers" or "mine" currently. Privacy is always an issue these days.

However, my question for all my lurkers and followers (Dom and sub alike) is this: What makes you feel most in control/controlled? What are some everyday things you do to keep the "feeling" going? Sexually? Non sexually? I'd love to hear from you!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

What a life....

Well it's certainly been a while. So I'll bring you up to speed on bug and I's life. We have officially gotten the approval to start working on our house, which is awesome! I was hospitalized TWICE for kidney stones, and I started my new job. I cannot say enough how proud I am of my little bug! She held her own like a champ when I was unable to be there for her, and she even brought me things in the hospital that I needed without asking. I went into the E.R. at about 11pm on Monday. The pain had gotten so bad (again) that I was at wit's end and just wanted the damn thing removed. So after being jerked around for 3 hours I saw a doctor and she recommended that I be admitted and see the urologist in the morning. So at a wonderful 5 a.m. I got into a room and bug went home. They wouldn't let her stay with me, which was frustrating because I worried about her driving while being so utterly exhausted. Long story short, I got he stone surgically removed and am now in recovery. I feel loads better, but am barred from having sex because of the splint put inside me to heal up the passage, if you catch my drift. Grrr...they say I can take it out Friday, and here's to hoping!

But I learned this week that I can count on bug when I need to in emergencies. We'd never experienced anything like this, and its great to know she can hold her own without me. Before the hospitalization she was doing very well too. She is being respectful and submissive in attitude, we had a nice talk about punishment and what to do when things go awry, and she earned an achievement all on her own. I look forward to our continued growth in the D/s relationship and all the exciting things we have going on. So despite this unfortunate health road block, I feel pretty good!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Sex Training update!

I am going to provide a detailed and slightly erotic recount of bug's training last night! And while it is not too BDSM heavy, it was a huge step up from prior weeks.

First I sent her to my room where I had her strip off her shirt, bra, and panties. She stood nude before me as I inspected her, grabbing her large soft breasts and reaching between her legs. She has been growing her hair out just a bit, as I asked her to do and a small tuft now resides over her entrance, a huge turn on for me. We kissed briefly and I grabbed my bag of "supplies" and a blindfold. After tightly tying the blindfold around her head I layed her down. Her breasts are normally huge (42 D's) but being pregnant has its perks and now they are noticably larger. I teased her nipples with my tongue, kissing and sucking them softly until they grew hard, which didnt take long. Her soft moans were music to my ears. After several minutes of licking and teasing her nipples I slid my hand down between her legs. I parted her soft lips with my first two fingers, feeling that she was already quite wet. I slid my middle finger inside of her, moving it around slowly. I curled it upward, just enough to taunt her g-spot. She is hopelessly vulnerable to g-spot stimulation. I quickened my pace as her breathing got quieter, a sign she was about to cum. I pushed her ever closer to the edge, but before she could release I denied her, pulling my fingers out slowly. I decided to torment her even more, leaning in to kiss her soft, pouting lips, and gently suck on her swollen clit. She was moaning openly now, and bucing her hips against my tongue. Finally I had to stop her from nearly cumming a second time. She was ready now. I opened my bag of sex toys and told her to get into a comfy position with her ass facing me.

I assurred her of what I was going to do, and told her to focus on making the sensation enjoyable to her. I first lubed up her anal beads. One by one I pressed them into her extremely tight ass, giving her time to adjust. She took them all very well, even the larger 1.5in diameter balls at the end of the strand. I carressed her from behind as I let them sit in her to get accustomed. After a few minutes of kissing the back of her neck and shoulders I pulled them out slowly, one by one. But I wasn't finished. I grabbed the small butt plug, the first in the set I am training her with, and lubed it up. Again, I reassurred her and told her to focus on making this weird new sensation pleasurable. I reached down and rubbed her clit softly as I probed her ass with the tip of the small plug. I repeated it over and over agin, gently easing its length into her innocent (for now) looking ass. After a few minutes of teasing I inserted the entire length inside and made her hold it in, as I continued kissing her neck and teasing her clit. All the while her pussy stayed nice and wet, I knew she enjoyed it! Finally she began to say her ass was getting sore, and I agreed that she had done well for the day. I pulled the plug out and had her lay on her back. I was rock hard after watching her take the toys, and moan so much during my teasing. I grabbed both of her legs, kinda like a wheelbarrel and started fucking her, slowly at first. I angled up, hitting her cervix with each thrust. I kept a steady pace, relishing the sensation of fucking her (and her wanting to be fucked). She moaned harder as I picked up the pace. My balls slapped against her ass quickly as I pounded away. Then, much to my surprise she began to moan like never before. She let out a little scream as we came at the exact same time, something we had never managed before! We were both shocked, and very happy. I felt proud, always coming close to pushing her over but never actually doing it. It was a big step for us both.

Anyway, thats all the smut for now :) I am looking forward to more D/s related sex as we get back in the swing of things, but she certainly did an excellent job yesterday, and especially today with some very serious, and non-sex related issues. But that'll be tomorrow's post.

Friday, August 5, 2011

More good news!

This week has been an excellent counter to the stresses I have been feeling the past few weeks. I was officially offered the full time job I applied for, and I officially got approved to rent my very first house! Bug and I are ecstatic! And the price is super low, which is good because hard times lie ahead. It has plenty of land (which we have to take care of as per the agreement) and a weeping willow tree, bug's favorite. It needs some work and cleaning, its been abandoned for 5 years since my grandfather passed away. It's kinda funny, as a horny teenager I stole a key to it from my father and bug and I would sneak in there in the summers and have sex. Lots of sex. We were desperate! And I shared a room at the time so privacy was limited. We had a good chuckle about that last night. But, moving along...

Another positive thing is bug's showing a little more interest in sex. This may not seem like a terribly important thing but seeing as though her sex drive did not exist for the past 2-3 weeks I am thrilled! I look forward to -really- feeling in control again. I have missed the "bedroom Dom" side of myself the past few weeks. Because there is a definate difference between being a Dom in day to day life, and in the bedroom. But maybe that's a good topic for another post.

I plan on treating bug to a dinner out in celebration of our good news and then a relaxing fun evening in. Hopefully details to come!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Buglet lives!

It has been a while! Its been crazy busy for me the past few weeks, hence not having much time to write. Life continues to take me on a wild ride with crazy ups and crazy downs. But through it all Bug and I manage. Updates? I have a full time job lined up at my father's company. I am hoping to rise through the ranks, as most of their staff have. I have confidence in my abilities, and I am excited to learn what I can about the business. D/s-wise Bug and I have been struggling with the transitional period. Things are pretty low-key right now as we organize our life and prepare for everything. Once we finally move in together, and the first trimester sexual deathblow wears off we will ressume. Non-sexually we still acknowledge each others roles, but sexual training and so forth is somewhat on hold. She is doing well with her domestic tasks and is growing into her role nicely :) Today I got to see our son/daughter for the first time! We have affectionately nicknamed her "Buglet." We went in today for Bug's 10 week check up and ultrasound. Its heartbeat and everything looked normal. It was absolutely hilarious, he/she was flopping around and waggling its little arms for us. Very much alive! It really hit a deep nerve inside of me seeing Buglet moving around and heart beating, a very touching moment.

Thats all for today! A big thanks to all of those who commentand offer encouragement and advice, it is always welcomed.