Well it's certainly been a while. So I'll bring you up to speed on bug and I's life. We have officially gotten the approval to start working on our house, which is awesome! I was hospitalized TWICE for kidney stones, and I started my new job. I cannot say enough how proud I am of my little bug! She held her own like a champ when I was unable to be there for her, and she even brought me things in the hospital that I needed without asking. I went into the E.R. at about 11pm on Monday. The pain had gotten so bad (again) that I was at wit's end and just wanted the damn thing removed. So after being jerked around for 3 hours I saw a doctor and she recommended that I be admitted and see the urologist in the morning. So at a wonderful 5 a.m. I got into a room and bug went home. They wouldn't let her stay with me, which was frustrating because I worried about her driving while being so utterly exhausted. Long story short, I got he stone surgically removed and am now in recovery. I feel loads better, but am barred from having sex because of the splint put inside me to heal up the passage, if you catch my drift. Grrr...they say I can take it out Friday, and here's to hoping!
But I learned this week that I can count on bug when I need to in emergencies. We'd never experienced anything like this, and its great to know she can hold her own without me. Before the hospitalization she was doing very well too. She is being respectful and submissive in attitude, we had a nice talk about punishment and what to do when things go awry, and she earned an achievement all on her own. I look forward to our continued growth in the D/s relationship and all the exciting things we have going on. So despite this unfortunate health road block, I feel pretty good!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sex Training update!
I am going to provide a detailed and slightly erotic recount of bug's training last night! And while it is not too BDSM heavy, it was a huge step up from prior weeks.
First I sent her to my room where I had her strip off her shirt, bra, and panties. She stood nude before me as I inspected her, grabbing her large soft breasts and reaching between her legs. She has been growing her hair out just a bit, as I asked her to do and a small tuft now resides over her entrance, a huge turn on for me. We kissed briefly and I grabbed my bag of "supplies" and a blindfold. After tightly tying the blindfold around her head I layed her down. Her breasts are normally huge (42 D's) but being pregnant has its perks and now they are noticably larger. I teased her nipples with my tongue, kissing and sucking them softly until they grew hard, which didnt take long. Her soft moans were music to my ears. After several minutes of licking and teasing her nipples I slid my hand down between her legs. I parted her soft lips with my first two fingers, feeling that she was already quite wet. I slid my middle finger inside of her, moving it around slowly. I curled it upward, just enough to taunt her g-spot. She is hopelessly vulnerable to g-spot stimulation. I quickened my pace as her breathing got quieter, a sign she was about to cum. I pushed her ever closer to the edge, but before she could release I denied her, pulling my fingers out slowly. I decided to torment her even more, leaning in to kiss her soft, pouting lips, and gently suck on her swollen clit. She was moaning openly now, and bucing her hips against my tongue. Finally I had to stop her from nearly cumming a second time. She was ready now. I opened my bag of sex toys and told her to get into a comfy position with her ass facing me.
I assurred her of what I was going to do, and told her to focus on making the sensation enjoyable to her. I first lubed up her anal beads. One by one I pressed them into her extremely tight ass, giving her time to adjust. She took them all very well, even the larger 1.5in diameter balls at the end of the strand. I carressed her from behind as I let them sit in her to get accustomed. After a few minutes of kissing the back of her neck and shoulders I pulled them out slowly, one by one. But I wasn't finished. I grabbed the small butt plug, the first in the set I am training her with, and lubed it up. Again, I reassurred her and told her to focus on making this weird new sensation pleasurable. I reached down and rubbed her clit softly as I probed her ass with the tip of the small plug. I repeated it over and over agin, gently easing its length into her innocent (for now) looking ass. After a few minutes of teasing I inserted the entire length inside and made her hold it in, as I continued kissing her neck and teasing her clit. All the while her pussy stayed nice and wet, I knew she enjoyed it! Finally she began to say her ass was getting sore, and I agreed that she had done well for the day. I pulled the plug out and had her lay on her back. I was rock hard after watching her take the toys, and moan so much during my teasing. I grabbed both of her legs, kinda like a wheelbarrel and started fucking her, slowly at first. I angled up, hitting her cervix with each thrust. I kept a steady pace, relishing the sensation of fucking her (and her wanting to be fucked). She moaned harder as I picked up the pace. My balls slapped against her ass quickly as I pounded away. Then, much to my surprise she began to moan like never before. She let out a little scream as we came at the exact same time, something we had never managed before! We were both shocked, and very happy. I felt proud, always coming close to pushing her over but never actually doing it. It was a big step for us both.
Anyway, thats all the smut for now :) I am looking forward to more D/s related sex as we get back in the swing of things, but she certainly did an excellent job yesterday, and especially today with some very serious, and non-sex related issues. But that'll be tomorrow's post.
First I sent her to my room where I had her strip off her shirt, bra, and panties. She stood nude before me as I inspected her, grabbing her large soft breasts and reaching between her legs. She has been growing her hair out just a bit, as I asked her to do and a small tuft now resides over her entrance, a huge turn on for me. We kissed briefly and I grabbed my bag of "supplies" and a blindfold. After tightly tying the blindfold around her head I layed her down. Her breasts are normally huge (42 D's) but being pregnant has its perks and now they are noticably larger. I teased her nipples with my tongue, kissing and sucking them softly until they grew hard, which didnt take long. Her soft moans were music to my ears. After several minutes of licking and teasing her nipples I slid my hand down between her legs. I parted her soft lips with my first two fingers, feeling that she was already quite wet. I slid my middle finger inside of her, moving it around slowly. I curled it upward, just enough to taunt her g-spot. She is hopelessly vulnerable to g-spot stimulation. I quickened my pace as her breathing got quieter, a sign she was about to cum. I pushed her ever closer to the edge, but before she could release I denied her, pulling my fingers out slowly. I decided to torment her even more, leaning in to kiss her soft, pouting lips, and gently suck on her swollen clit. She was moaning openly now, and bucing her hips against my tongue. Finally I had to stop her from nearly cumming a second time. She was ready now. I opened my bag of sex toys and told her to get into a comfy position with her ass facing me.
I assurred her of what I was going to do, and told her to focus on making the sensation enjoyable to her. I first lubed up her anal beads. One by one I pressed them into her extremely tight ass, giving her time to adjust. She took them all very well, even the larger 1.5in diameter balls at the end of the strand. I carressed her from behind as I let them sit in her to get accustomed. After a few minutes of kissing the back of her neck and shoulders I pulled them out slowly, one by one. But I wasn't finished. I grabbed the small butt plug, the first in the set I am training her with, and lubed it up. Again, I reassurred her and told her to focus on making this weird new sensation pleasurable. I reached down and rubbed her clit softly as I probed her ass with the tip of the small plug. I repeated it over and over agin, gently easing its length into her innocent (for now) looking ass. After a few minutes of teasing I inserted the entire length inside and made her hold it in, as I continued kissing her neck and teasing her clit. All the while her pussy stayed nice and wet, I knew she enjoyed it! Finally she began to say her ass was getting sore, and I agreed that she had done well for the day. I pulled the plug out and had her lay on her back. I was rock hard after watching her take the toys, and moan so much during my teasing. I grabbed both of her legs, kinda like a wheelbarrel and started fucking her, slowly at first. I angled up, hitting her cervix with each thrust. I kept a steady pace, relishing the sensation of fucking her (and her wanting to be fucked). She moaned harder as I picked up the pace. My balls slapped against her ass quickly as I pounded away. Then, much to my surprise she began to moan like never before. She let out a little scream as we came at the exact same time, something we had never managed before! We were both shocked, and very happy. I felt proud, always coming close to pushing her over but never actually doing it. It was a big step for us both.
Anyway, thats all the smut for now :) I am looking forward to more D/s related sex as we get back in the swing of things, but she certainly did an excellent job yesterday, and especially today with some very serious, and non-sex related issues. But that'll be tomorrow's post.
Friday, August 5, 2011
More good news!
This week has been an excellent counter to the stresses I have been feeling the past few weeks. I was officially offered the full time job I applied for, and I officially got approved to rent my very first house! Bug and I are ecstatic! And the price is super low, which is good because hard times lie ahead. It has plenty of land (which we have to take care of as per the agreement) and a weeping willow tree, bug's favorite. It needs some work and cleaning, its been abandoned for 5 years since my grandfather passed away. It's kinda funny, as a horny teenager I stole a key to it from my father and bug and I would sneak in there in the summers and have sex. Lots of sex. We were desperate! And I shared a room at the time so privacy was limited. We had a good chuckle about that last night. But, moving along...
Another positive thing is bug's showing a little more interest in sex. This may not seem like a terribly important thing but seeing as though her sex drive did not exist for the past 2-3 weeks I am thrilled! I look forward to -really- feeling in control again. I have missed the "bedroom Dom" side of myself the past few weeks. Because there is a definate difference between being a Dom in day to day life, and in the bedroom. But maybe that's a good topic for another post.
I plan on treating bug to a dinner out in celebration of our good news and then a relaxing fun evening in. Hopefully details to come!
Another positive thing is bug's showing a little more interest in sex. This may not seem like a terribly important thing but seeing as though her sex drive did not exist for the past 2-3 weeks I am thrilled! I look forward to -really- feeling in control again. I have missed the "bedroom Dom" side of myself the past few weeks. Because there is a definate difference between being a Dom in day to day life, and in the bedroom. But maybe that's a good topic for another post.
I plan on treating bug to a dinner out in celebration of our good news and then a relaxing fun evening in. Hopefully details to come!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Buglet lives!
It has been a while! Its been crazy busy for me the past few weeks, hence not having much time to write. Life continues to take me on a wild ride with crazy ups and crazy downs. But through it all Bug and I manage. Updates? I have a full time job lined up at my father's company. I am hoping to rise through the ranks, as most of their staff have. I have confidence in my abilities, and I am excited to learn what I can about the business. D/s-wise Bug and I have been struggling with the transitional period. Things are pretty low-key right now as we organize our life and prepare for everything. Once we finally move in together, and the first trimester sexual deathblow wears off we will ressume. Non-sexually we still acknowledge each others roles, but sexual training and so forth is somewhat on hold. She is doing well with her domestic tasks and is growing into her role nicely :) Today I got to see our son/daughter for the first time! We have affectionately nicknamed her "Buglet." We went in today for Bug's 10 week check up and ultrasound. Its heartbeat and everything looked normal. It was absolutely hilarious, he/she was flopping around and waggling its little arms for us. Very much alive! It really hit a deep nerve inside of me seeing Buglet moving around and heart beating, a very touching moment.
Thats all for today! A big thanks to all of those who commentand offer encouragement and advice, it is always welcomed.
Thats all for today! A big thanks to all of those who commentand offer encouragement and advice, it is always welcomed.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Doubt
I have been bombarded recently with a flood of different emotions from my sub. She is nearing the middle of her first trimester and her pregnancy hormones have her saying and thinking things I have not heard out of her in years. She doubts her looks, abilities, intelligence, and just about everything else. And of course, she is wrong about all of these things. She has deep-rooted self esteem issues that I have struggled (epically, mind you) to subdue, since long before we began our D/s journey. Consistently I prove to her I am not the same as the others she has known, even her family which has more than occasionally let her down. I try to lead by example and prove to her that she IS worth more than she thinks she is, and that she is far more amazing than she gives herself credit for.
And yet sometimes even I find myself in doubt. Do I doubt her? No. Do I doubt myself? You betcha! (As Sarah Palin would say...ugh -shivers-) I think fear and doubt are natural, and even useful parts of the human psyche. However, it is how these thoughts are used and managed that determines their use. Will I allow these fears to overcome me and change my behavior? No! If I fear anything I try my hardest to use it to prevent itself. Confused? I'll explain. If I am afraid of my sub getting bored in our relationship, I try harder to find activities for us. If I fear that she won't find -me- attractive, I will obsess until I feel I am acceptable. Instead of burying the fear deep inside of me until it becomes a festering insecurity I acknowledge it, face it, and do something to change it. I take action. I am quickly learning that things do not change, in anything, without action. I am responsible for our life. The captain of our metaphorical ship! And even though I may fear steering us into an ice burg, I will try my hardest to learn the right paths through life, and take the necessary actions to stay on those paths.
Alright. Enough philosophical babble for me. I hope to return to smutty posts soon, but the First Trimester is like a deathblow to her health and sex drive. And while I still take what I need, I find that training her sexually would not only be cruel in that state, but unenjoyable for me. Have you ever fucked a half-asleep, gassy, angsty/sad/fearful pregnant woman in the heat of Summer? I am holding out for this fabled "Second Trimester" which is from what I hear, the Land of Milk and Honey. No puns intended!
And yet sometimes even I find myself in doubt. Do I doubt her? No. Do I doubt myself? You betcha! (As Sarah Palin would say...ugh -shivers-) I think fear and doubt are natural, and even useful parts of the human psyche. However, it is how these thoughts are used and managed that determines their use. Will I allow these fears to overcome me and change my behavior? No! If I fear anything I try my hardest to use it to prevent itself. Confused? I'll explain. If I am afraid of my sub getting bored in our relationship, I try harder to find activities for us. If I fear that she won't find -me- attractive, I will obsess until I feel I am acceptable. Instead of burying the fear deep inside of me until it becomes a festering insecurity I acknowledge it, face it, and do something to change it. I take action. I am quickly learning that things do not change, in anything, without action. I am responsible for our life. The captain of our metaphorical ship! And even though I may fear steering us into an ice burg, I will try my hardest to learn the right paths through life, and take the necessary actions to stay on those paths.
Alright. Enough philosophical babble for me. I hope to return to smutty posts soon, but the First Trimester is like a deathblow to her health and sex drive. And while I still take what I need, I find that training her sexually would not only be cruel in that state, but unenjoyable for me. Have you ever fucked a half-asleep, gassy, angsty/sad/fearful pregnant woman in the heat of Summer? I am holding out for this fabled "Second Trimester" which is from what I hear, the Land of Milk and Honey. No puns intended!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Transitions
Life has a way of keeping me on my toes, it seems. After a careful few days of planing for what I thought was going to be a fun (and kinky sex) filled weekend, I found myself face to face with reality. Bug had gotten a cold this weekend, and was unusually tired and sick from the pregnancy. The empty house I thought we were going to share was dreadfully occupied by my brother for most of the time, a fact alone that brought any hopes of "training" to a crashing halt. I am finding it really difficult to enforce my control when surrounded by family who have no idea we have this type of relationship, and furthermore who would condemn it if they did. One of the many downsides of living with the parents still. We only have 2 months until the wedding and subsequent move, however, so that won't be for long.
That being said, I do also know that I have to make the best of the situation. Was the weekend perfect? No. Was it fun? Mostly. Did I spend quality time with my sub and care for her lovingly in her time of need, as a Dom should? Yes. I have learned this lesson many times in life, and I feel like if I were but 2 years younger, this weekend would have bothered me. But since engaging in the D/s relationship with Bug I find myself looking at things from a diferent perspective. Life is going to screw up my plans. It always has, it always will. I just accept that now.
I am a huge fan of Lord of the Rings, and in the Fellowship Gandalf makes an excellent point in this quote: "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." I really thought about the events this weekend, and I realize that I may be able to control her in what ways I can but I cannot control everything else. All I can do is deal with what life gives me. To me, this flexability and understanding is just as key to being dominant as a firm hand and unyeilding resolve. At any rate, things -are- looking up around here. Just have to buckle down and keep moving!
That being said, I do also know that I have to make the best of the situation. Was the weekend perfect? No. Was it fun? Mostly. Did I spend quality time with my sub and care for her lovingly in her time of need, as a Dom should? Yes. I have learned this lesson many times in life, and I feel like if I were but 2 years younger, this weekend would have bothered me. But since engaging in the D/s relationship with Bug I find myself looking at things from a diferent perspective. Life is going to screw up my plans. It always has, it always will. I just accept that now.
I am a huge fan of Lord of the Rings, and in the Fellowship Gandalf makes an excellent point in this quote: "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." I really thought about the events this weekend, and I realize that I may be able to control her in what ways I can but I cannot control everything else. All I can do is deal with what life gives me. To me, this flexability and understanding is just as key to being dominant as a firm hand and unyeilding resolve. At any rate, things -are- looking up around here. Just have to buckle down and keep moving!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Busy weekend!
Sorry for the lack of activity! The weekend was buys, and not in a good way. I'll post a nice long post tomorrow.
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